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I'm running September 1 rare, and messy.

's almost like last September.

And obviously do not want the rest of my Septembers are equal.

cocoa I have a pretty nice head, to deny it, I'm lost.

not to do, no where, or when, or how ... I hate to be so because before I always had a plan.

guess in the end I'm a little hobbit and I like a good routine, or more like say, is as healthy for me.

was little I knew I had to go to class, then go to school, doing homework, reading, sleeping. A simple life for me completely happy.

was a little road through the woods that had a daily basis without concern, so comfortable that I could look to either side under the road. But I guess one day you have to go further, and as I was looking at the tops of the trees I went into a clearing. From there I found no such paths I started to climb up into the trees like that. But never get anywhere. I get nervous and I have fear, I feel lost, I look everywhere and just in case I bump into all the roots that encounter.

the end to clear her head down back where I started (or perhaps similar), I sit on a rock and put her head in her hands.

I guess I'm afraid to re-enter the woods, to feel fear, bumping, despair and back to clear.

little self-pity is that I do, but not ...

In its day, and I dealt with people who did not expect anything from life and I was eating could not help because it is clear that if one does not to help little can be done. But the worst is that I had to pass something. I do not expect nothing from life, rather I hope some of my. In part that I can stick this pessimism but on the other side it's just my fault, because I work, I have never worked, my mother has repeated many times and he's right.

have to do anything if I want to change (although last I left there without being able to change, with its thorns and wounds), but not the what or how ...

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Well, I wanted to point out to people who read me and I do not know. That would not explain anything I do or fail to do here because of my blog is just that I read people and of course I can not force anyone to read an entry that is not interested.

is no kind of apology about nothing, sometimes if I could I regret a crumb after vomiting first thing that came to mind, but I never cared too much who read this and thought of me.

I guess for those who do not know me I can be a bit ... peculiar. Like if I'm having a strange period after the fall that I had for years I have been a few months in my pink cloud and now I'm a bit like a weather vane, a day gives me air around here, another day there ... I acknowledge that I do not like too much.

But if I have enough assimilated some of my facets. Yes, I felt unsure, probably the fears that emerged after this is what makes me a sad day and one happy. I can hardly take any decision and seek specialist'm the cat 16 feet, which does not mean that they are located far from it. Sometimes I realize that I do but screw up, in the vernacular, when my head fucks and gets a running start to spin to everything without mercy. In the moments passed the hump I see it all simple and easy, but while I'm in the "centrifuge" I struggle to focus, I'm going to do.

I guess the good thing is that I turn to all sorts of things and although it was no ax Philosophy (never I gave it to memorize names and dates that come out of a Tolkien book, which unfortunately mine) if I'm interested in, say, an indirect way. I like to walk and think, or at any time about anything .... time, reality and happiness are a classic from the beginning of time, but an inexhaustible subject (more so if like me you have not read hardly anything of philosophy and the thoughts that go through more people had already ¬ _ ¬ U) . Human nature, light, molecules, waves of energy, thought ... I love thinking about all this and admit that sometimes I jam a bit on my stuff.

But that part I like, I like being well, I like being in the clouds I am thinking, I like being almost always dissatisfied because I'm very demanding (especially me), I guess sometimes I like to be gloomy and sad because I miss it right away and be happy ... I think

describe to someone who does not know me very hard, but know it is very easy, it only takes a little patience with my nonsense and I think I can catch up lol love

And now I'm going to eat that for today I had the time to philosophy.

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was thinking now, that are immersed in hours of weird ideas, funny thing about feelings.
I really started thinking about something I remember him around with just 5 years. I guess when you start to realize the world around you, empathize and find that you are part of a reality that surrounds you where there are more people with their own reality.

By now even I can not help but think sometimes if that reality exists for all because it could be all a lie my head like in those dreams where someone comes in and says that this is not a dream. What also made me think that maybe this is the dream and fall into the same lie that we believe but on the other side of the mirror. This in turn has led me to remember how uncomfortable it is sometimes to be a slave of your dreams, talking about his dream, I do not mean goals. The opposite of a lucid dream, when you have be aware of dreaming is when you're so immersed in the situation around you in the dream that overcomes you completely. When we are frightened, when we get angry with someone with whom we dream, when we dream something sad that makes us forget all logic and memories of our life "wake up" when we drown in water when we are in our beds and woke up with his legs entangled in the sheets and head under the pillow.

is something that overwhelms me greatly, being the slave of feeling even in dreams, strong feelings that attack you until just after waking. And think how powerless you felt minutes before being unable to think and calm down. Can not argue with that sentiment so strong that surrounds you from sweating. And I suppose that is because there is a vigil both the same. Where born

feelings? in the brain I guess, but I do not find support in my imagination. Something so strong that shapes who you are and where you can be so strong that fool you. At least dreams are just waking up and appreciated the time that clearer mind think "ugh, it was only a dream, is over."

But as this is another dream where we go back to being slaves of wild feelings that surround us without meaning, as people tell us incoerentes but try to convince us that this is the only truth, we remain with the veil in the eyes until one day wake up and say "whew, it was only a dream, is over."

Because right now I have a lucid dream seems so far as to get rid of this thick paste that I drained from the brain to the heart and stomach.